That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
