I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
