I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize