Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
