508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
