D3 body, D1 cock
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
