Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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