Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize