ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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