I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
