This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
