She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
