You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
