The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
