wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
