Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
