My friends, they love my intelligence
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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