Sponge bath it is.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize