Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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