You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
