did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
