I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
