Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
