my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
