she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
