i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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