You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
