We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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