I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
