FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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