I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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