He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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