drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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