WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
