Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
