on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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