You're my little dorito
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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