Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
