That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize