I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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