Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
