You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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