I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How does one acquire holy water?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize