god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
