someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
