Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Found the puke drawer
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
