instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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