I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
