You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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