it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
