i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
