If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
