oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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