At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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