what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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