To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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