ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
