um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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