:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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