he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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