I'm really into asian looking animals
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
