some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
