So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
