so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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