the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
