and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
