I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
