Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she peed on how many people?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
