so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize