We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
