I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
