dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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