Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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