Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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