i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I enjoy the company of your penis
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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