it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
