You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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