I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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