Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize